I always did what was “right” by everyone else’s standards. Ever heard of WWJD? What Would Jesus Do… well it was more like “how can I do this and make my parents/church happy and keep them off my back?”
I just wanted to live and do what other people my age were doing, their parents didn’t question where they stayed the night or tell them they got sick whenever they had sex or that the sins they had done were being passed down the generations.
GUILT, GUILT, GUILT
At 18 I got a boyfriend who my parents would not approve of, I had to ask him to church and then the church prayed for him to make him believe in God. I was so embarrassed but I also thought if he at least looked like he was starting to believe then I’d get away with having sex. About a year into our relationship I told him we had to get married, so we got engaged. 18!!!!
After a few months my fiancé told me he never wanted children and I decided I wanted something different, so I broke up with him . Last I heard he is an atheist.
3 months later I told God that the next guy I met would be it. And that night out with my friends I met him ( the father of my children).
This post seems to dragging out… am I just rambling???