I’m still alive

Oh it has been a while…

Since my last post I have been away on holidays with my man. We went to France for 3 weeks, 1 week in Paris and 2 weeks driving the Normandy coast.

My man educated me on all the D-Day events and I got to see exactly what those brave men encountered in WWII.

There were times of stress and sadness and anxiety during the holiday but all turned out well.

I haven’t felt the need to see my therapist lately, I’m finding ways to cope with different stresses in my life.

I’m doing so much better than just a few months ago.

E.

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It’s been a long time…

Hi everyone, I'm sorry it's been so long since my last post.
Since then things have gone downhill, I've been very moody, depressed, strange, tired, confused, anxious, snappy and just plain unhappy 😔.
Turns out going off the contraceptive pill can do this (wish the dr had mentioned it). It's been 3 very long months of bickering and arguing with my loved ones.
I decided yesterday to see if it could be the side effects of going off the pill and low and behold I found a forum of 81 pages of women going through similar symptoms as I have and still am.
Now I know I'm feeling a little better and there's a light at the end of the tunnel. Many women say it takes about 6-8 months to get back to "normal ".
Upside: I'm off to France tomorrow morning with my love (hopefully still loves me at the end of this holiday). It's been very hard on him ( I'm sorry 😐).
Note to self… Eve you are going back to a city you love ❤️ be HAPPY 😊.
E.

Schema-therapy Part 2

I’m just going to be completely honest and tell you I’m feeling extremely emotional and scared about my upcoming session this afternoon.

Last week I was left feeling drained after my first session of schema-therapy and rescripting (link in previous post).  During the session I closed my eyes and found my safe place first, then my therapist introduced herself as my “saviour ” to be there for the “young Ms Eve” when she needs someone to stand up for her. We went back to a time in my life when I was under the age of 10 and I spoke about a time in my life that upset me. This is where I got very emotional 😭. My therapist would also ask if young Ms Eve needed a hug or to be picked up or to hold her hand. Of course, my therapist remains in her chair, these offers of comfort are just suggestive.

I cried and my body shook with all these past emotions coming to the surface. You know these feelings are there and you just think you’ve gotten over the past, but you just don’t realise that you haven’t really forgiven and forgotten things that happened. When you go back to those times it HURTS! 

The idea of the session is to go back to a time when a particular event happened. To speak as you were then , in a present tense. Then the therapist asks what help you’d like, to talk to whoever caused this pain, to comfort you, to take you to a place that you feel safe etc… rescripting your reaction essentially. 

At first it was weird for me, but after talking about it and hearing the therapist speak up for me , I started to feel calm.

I totally recommend this form of therapy if something in your past triggers hurt, insecurities, anxiety, fear etc…

I guess I’m fearful of getting so emotional during my sessions and not getting past the triggers. 

I hope I’ve made some sense. 😊

E.

Schema-therapy and Re-scripting 

Had my first Schema-therapy and re-scripting session with my psychologist this morning.  It was very emotional going back to my 5 year old self (i think i was 5). The psychologist asked how i was feeling,  and asked me to speak in the present tense not past tense. Feelings of the incident came back full force, i was scared,anxious,nervous,sad,angry and i cried and dug my fingernails in to my fingertips. She kept asking me what i needed as a 5 year old eg; a hug, hold my hand, pick me up…i kept saying i don’t know. She also spoke to the people making me feel this way.  It made me feel a bit better. We then went and fed the ducks (in my mind).

Have you done this?

I found it a little weird at first but then i just let go and accepted the mindful therapy. 

E.

Loss of any kind is hard…

In the past couple of hours I heard that a wonderful , beautiful young woman who followed her dreams has passed away.

I worked with her before she left the airline industry to pursue her dream of being an Interior Designer. I was so proud of her when she told me she got the job at a well known firm(and I’ll admit, a little jealous). Even though you wouldn’t call us friends, more colleagues with an interest that bonded us. I have been truly rocked by the devastating news of her passing.

To have your life taken so quickly and without warning. To your family and your new husband, I am truly sorry for your loss. You were the most beautiful soul . RIP Yx

I love Skype…

As you know my man is in Greece with his son on their big adventure. I miss him very much…

But, we are so lucky these days with wifi and Skype etc. I just video chat with him in an ancient town Monemvasia . I couldn’t wipe the smile off my face. I’m so happy they are having fun as father and son… even though I miss him and he wishes I was there, I would feel like I’m cutting into their yearly tradition. It’s important for sons to have that one on one time with their father. 

I’m no longer selfish like I was when I was younger. I would have resented a partners child . Now, I love that my bf loves his son very much and wants to be with him, that makes him a special man.

E.

I’ve been nominated…

Thank you to Manuela at In A Love World who nominated me. Please go check out her blog.

The rules of this award:

Acknowledge the blog who nominated you and display the award.

Answer the 11 questions the blogger gives you.

Give 11 random facts about yourself.

Nominate 11 blogs.

Notify those blogs of the nomination.

Give them 11 questions to answer

11 random facts about me

I love Harry Potter films.

I would love to live in Italy.

I want to write your next itinerary.

I am hungry all day.

I may as well have a drip in my arm filling my veins with black coffee.

Most mornings I’m up at 3:30 getting ready for work.

I’m a Royalist.

I used to sit and watch Aerobics Oz Style.

I started to like olives at the age of 33.

Anthony Bourdain is amazing.

I love a British accent ( lucky for my bf)

I nominate

Anyone who reads this post. And thank you if you’ve found my blog and followed.

I was asked

1. What is more important to you?

Trust. I need trust from others. I can’t stand not being believed.

2. What are the 3 things in nature you find most beautiful?

I’m not a huge nature person…it makes me jittery.

3. What is your most memorable moment?

Seeing the look on my bf face when I arrived in Heathrow after not seeing him for 3 weeks.

4. How you spend your free time?

At the beach with my man.

5. What makes you smile?

Every time he kisses the back of my neck.

6. What pet would you like to have at home?

none

7. Travel by plane, train, or automobile?

I’m on a plane most days. But I love traveling by plane.

8. Would you choose a free trip or money?

money. Make my own trip.

9. Would you have a night out or an evening in?

Evening in.

10. Would you go to a comedy club or dance club?

Comedy 

11. Name your 3 favorite foods?

Meat pie, croissant , souvlaki 

My questions for you

1. Country or City?

2. Camping or Hotel?

3. Do you pack to impress or to be comfortable (while traveling)?

4. Are you religious or believe in everything or nothing?

5. Do you or have you watched Day time soaps and which was your favorite?

6. Football or soccer?

7. What country were you born in, where do you live now?

8. Is your partner a different nationality to you?

9. What type of food do you like? E.g.. Thai, Japanese, Greek etc…

10. Have you been to Australia? What cities?

11. Do you meditate?

If you read my blog, consider yourself nominated. And thank you for your follows and likes and comments.

E.