It’s been a long time…

Hi everyone, I'm sorry it's been so long since my last post.
Since then things have gone downhill, I've been very moody, depressed, strange, tired, confused, anxious, snappy and just plain unhappy 😔.
Turns out going off the contraceptive pill can do this (wish the dr had mentioned it). It's been 3 very long months of bickering and arguing with my loved ones.
I decided yesterday to see if it could be the side effects of going off the pill and low and behold I found a forum of 81 pages of women going through similar symptoms as I have and still am.
Now I know I'm feeling a little better and there's a light at the end of the tunnel. Many women say it takes about 6-8 months to get back to "normal ".
Upside: I'm off to France tomorrow morning with my love (hopefully still loves me at the end of this holiday). It's been very hard on him ( I'm sorry 😐).
Note to self… Eve you are going back to a city you love ❤️ be HAPPY 😊.
E.

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Not thinking for yourself…the pain it can cause

I wish I knew this years ago!!!

I always did what was “right” by everyone else’s standards. Ever heard of WWJD? What Would Jesus Do… well it was more like “how can I do this and make my parents/church happy and keep them off my back?”

I just wanted to live and do what other people my age were doing, their parents didn’t question where they stayed the night or tell them they got sick whenever they had sex or that the sins they had done were being passed down the generations.

GUILT, GUILT, GUILT

At 18 I got a boyfriend who my parents would not approve of, I had to ask him to church and then the church prayed for him to make him believe in God. I was so embarrassed but I also thought if he at least looked like he was starting to believe then I’d get away with having sex. About a year into our relationship I told him we had to get married, so we got engaged. 18!!!!

After a few months my fiancé told me he never wanted children and I decided I wanted something different, so I broke up with him .  Last I heard he is an atheist.

3 months later I told God that the next guy I met would be it. And that night out with my friends I met him ( the father of my children).

This post seems to dragging out… am I just rambling???

E.

Today…

My sleep last night was horrible, my body hurt every time I turned. I feel like I was tossing and turning every few minutes but it could’ve been hours. I’m not sure but having to wake up to the alarm at 4am to start work at 6am was not nice. I also had an hour drive ahead of me. 

Sleep has always been important to me, I’m one of those who needs the 8 hours beauty sleep every night. 

I guess once I get my stress under control, I’ll sleep better and my body won’t hurt as much.

Your thoughts?

E.

Today…

This is where I share what is currently happening in my journey to discovering who Ms Eve is. While still sharing how I got here in much lengthier posts.

Today I visited my doctor yet again to find out why I am always tired (I’ve been tired for 3 1/2 years). We’ve ruled out pernicious anemia (not absorbing vitamin B12), gluten intolerance, thyroid problems, sickle cell disease, crohns and chronic fatigue. It looks like I suffer from PTSD-post traumatic stress syndrome, which in turn causes depression and anxiety (you would never guess it as I show no stereotypical signs). I find it not surprising after all I’ve been through but still really annoying that it lingers. I’m sure many of you understand this.

Anyway, I will keep you updated as I learn more.

E.