Porterhouse steak with mixed vegetables.
Red kidney beans
I cook my steak for 5 1/2 mins turning every 30 seconds on medium high heat. Vegetables are popped into a pan , mushrooms first until they get colour, red kidney beans next , then cherry tomatoes until warm. Add baby spinach last cook until spinach is slightly wilted( you don’t want to lose all the good stuff).
I always did what was “right” by everyone else’s standards. Ever heard of WWJD? What Would Jesus Do… well it was more like “how can I do this and make my parents/church happy and keep them off my back?”
I just wanted to live and do what other people my age were doing, their parents didn’t question where they stayed the night or tell them they got sick whenever they had sex or that the sins they had done were being passed down the generations.
GUILT, GUILT, GUILT
At 18 I got a boyfriend who my parents would not approve of, I had to ask him to church and then the church prayed for him to make him believe in God. I was so embarrassed but I also thought if he at least looked like he was starting to believe then I’d get away with having sex. About a year into our relationship I told him we had to get married, so we got engaged. 18!!!!
After a few months my fiancé told me he never wanted children and I decided I wanted something different, so I broke up with him . Last I heard he is an atheist.
3 months later I told God that the next guy I met would be it. And that night out with my friends I met him ( the father of my children).
This post seems to dragging out… am I just rambling???
My sleep last night was horrible, my body hurt every time I turned. I feel like I was tossing and turning every few minutes but it could’ve been hours. I’m not sure but having to wake up to the alarm at 4am to start work at 6am was not nice. I also had an hour drive ahead of me.
Sleep has always been important to me, I’m one of those who needs the 8 hours beauty sleep every night.
I guess once I get my stress under control, I’ll sleep better and my body won’t hurt as much.
I guess I became scared and insecure about whether people would still love me if they knew the truth …
Doing what was “right”
I was never one of those children who pushed the boundaries very far. The boundaries I pushed were like watching tv instead of doing my chores or homework, going to the shops on the way home from school instead of going straight home… we were latchkey children, so our parents wouldn’t have known what we did in the afternoon before they got home from work. We could have been such naughty children but we knew our limits and our parents limits.
I did my school work and my chores because it was expected (the same in all households).
Finished high school with average grades.
Time to move out!!! So I didn’t have to do things because I lived under my parents roof.
I moved out, I got a job and I still did what my parents wanted, I was too scared not to go to church every Sunday or youth group on Saturday nights. I would have to deal with the conflict and it was too hard to argue.
There is more to come, but I’d like to know if anyone else has led a life similar to mine. Please leave a comment.