It’s been a long time…

Hi everyone, I'm sorry it's been so long since my last post.
Since then things have gone downhill, I've been very moody, depressed, strange, tired, confused, anxious, snappy and just plain unhappy 😔.
Turns out going off the contraceptive pill can do this (wish the dr had mentioned it). It's been 3 very long months of bickering and arguing with my loved ones.
I decided yesterday to see if it could be the side effects of going off the pill and low and behold I found a forum of 81 pages of women going through similar symptoms as I have and still am.
Now I know I'm feeling a little better and there's a light at the end of the tunnel. Many women say it takes about 6-8 months to get back to "normal ".
Upside: I'm off to France tomorrow morning with my love (hopefully still loves me at the end of this holiday). It's been very hard on him ( I'm sorry 😐).
Note to self… Eve you are going back to a city you love ❤️ be HAPPY 😊.
E.

Schema-therapy Part 2

I’m just going to be completely honest and tell you I’m feeling extremely emotional and scared about my upcoming session this afternoon.

Last week I was left feeling drained after my first session of schema-therapy and rescripting (link in previous post).  During the session I closed my eyes and found my safe place first, then my therapist introduced herself as my “saviour ” to be there for the “young Ms Eve” when she needs someone to stand up for her. We went back to a time in my life when I was under the age of 10 and I spoke about a time in my life that upset me. This is where I got very emotional 😭. My therapist would also ask if young Ms Eve needed a hug or to be picked up or to hold her hand. Of course, my therapist remains in her chair, these offers of comfort are just suggestive.

I cried and my body shook with all these past emotions coming to the surface. You know these feelings are there and you just think you’ve gotten over the past, but you just don’t realise that you haven’t really forgiven and forgotten things that happened. When you go back to those times it HURTS! 

The idea of the session is to go back to a time when a particular event happened. To speak as you were then , in a present tense. Then the therapist asks what help you’d like, to talk to whoever caused this pain, to comfort you, to take you to a place that you feel safe etc… rescripting your reaction essentially. 

At first it was weird for me, but after talking about it and hearing the therapist speak up for me , I started to feel calm.

I totally recommend this form of therapy if something in your past triggers hurt, insecurities, anxiety, fear etc…

I guess I’m fearful of getting so emotional during my sessions and not getting past the triggers. 

I hope I’ve made some sense. 😊

E.

Today…

Today I feel blah…

I should have written yesterday. 

Yesterday, I went to the hairdresser for the first time in over a year. I came out feeling fantastic, a little lighter in the purse 😉 but non the less fantastic and pretty. I was happy and couldn’t wait to show my new hair to my partner. He liked it :).

I feel neither sad nor happy, just plain old blah today. I got up made breakfast and dressed in nice but casual clothes for this cool autumn day here on the Sunshine Coast. Instead of heading out op shopping with my partner and his son I opted to stay home and do washing and vacuum the floors. 

I think I know why I feel this way, one week ago I went off the contraceptive pill and started taking a compounded progesterone capsule. It’s funny how you don’t realize how much your hormones change when on the pill and I’ve been on it majority of 15 years. Hopefully things start to balance soon. And hopefully the progesterone does what it’s meant too. Then that will be one less stress.

Here’s to less stress 🥂.

E.